It was 2013 and I was pregnant with my 6th child. She was a surprise and I was already in a state of overwhelm, having 5 children ages 1-14. I was in a desperate place, panicky, and unsure of how to thrive in the season I found myself. A precious friendship was just forming and she found herself in a difficult season as well. Although her season looked drastically different from mine, we found solace in knowing neither of us were alone in it. One evening, she invited me over to “bless me.” I had zero expectations and simply thought I was going to receive some sweet words of encouragement and perhaps a prayer over me. That was the first night I experienced HIS love.
Holy Spirit spoke through my friend that night and He lighted upon my soul in a way I had not experienced before. For the first time in my life, I felt seen, known, accepted, and fully loved. My soul had known Jesus for 14 years- I knew His saving grace, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love for me. I wish I could explain why I hadn’t known this; how can you experience His grace and know of His salvation, yet not fully experience and know of His acceptance and love at the same time? I suppose love is experienced and known in layers and this was a new and profound layer in my walk with Him.
I arrived home that evening feeling as if I had just been sweetly kissed for the first time! I floated into my home in complete amazement that the God of this universe would dare to Love me this deeply. Over the next year, I immersed myself into understanding the love that I had experienced. I walked slowly through the book of Song of Solomon, I listened to worship music, I simply sat and allowed myself to be loved by Him. When I reflect back on this time, it brings tears to my eyes- what an incredible journey He walked me into, as if He were walking me down the aisle firsthand to become His Bride.
The depth of my relationship with Jesus, what He has taught me, and the healing that has occurred in my life has all been built upon that night. My soul was saved from the torment of hell when I was 21, but my physical life was restored and love was rekindled in my heart in 2013. In God’s great love and mercy, he used 14 years between my moment of salvation and my experience of His love to prepare me for that night.
Do you long to experience and know this love? Have you known salvation, yet struggle to feel fully seen, known, accepted, and loved? Perhaps you are in the “14 years” that I was in. I wonder if He is calling to you, beckoning you to come down the aisle to be “sweetly kissed” by His love. There is no limit to His love. Wherever you are in your walk with Him, He longs to show you more of who He is and how He loves you. He shows His love in so many ways: music, art, scripture, community, and simply just being in His presence. My prayer for you is that you would experience the same love that I did. That He would be the lifter of your head and the lover of your soul. That His words would ring sweetly in your ears and you would dare to believe them.
‘He placed me at His banquet table for everyone to see that His banner over me declares His Love.” Song of Solomon 2:4
Join me on Saturday, August 8th, 9am-5pm to come away and experience His profound Love.
His Love One-Day retreat
Harvest Church
2120 Airport Rd.
Lakeland, Fl
$50, meals and supplies included
Learn more and register here